What's In YOUR Closet?
By Tierce Green
Politicians, producers, and pastors. Administrators, actors, and athletes. The list of fallen leaders keeps growing and growing. You can’t help but wonder … Who’s next?
Sadly, we’re becoming numb to the headlines that another executive, or physician, or coach abused his power and assumed the rules didn’t apply to someone in his position. What’s worse, some of these guys didn’t even know they were breaking the rules. How does that happen? Maybe it was born out of an old-school men’s club culture where sexual innuendos and racial slurs were not only tolerated, they were the unofficial currency of a back-slapping inner circle. But the culture is shifting, and we’re no longer looking the other way at such asinine behavior. (as•i•nine – adjective: extremely stupid or foolish) As the culture shifts, these fools will eventually expose themselves.
We need to zoom out and see the bigger picture. There's a broad category that includes but isn't limited to misogynists and sex offenders. On the surface it can look like a Who’s Who List of the well-educated and well-groomed. Some are highly successful and even well-churched. They are charismatic influencers with a critical mass of social media friends and followers. They have a voice and a platform. Some churches are even built on and feed off their personalities. How can these men, knowing they are under the scrutiny of an increasingly skeptical public, continue to speak out against splinters in the eyes of others while ignoring the massive logs in their own?
3 FATAL MISTAKES:
[1] Smoke-Screen Comparisons. Compared to blatant sexual harassment, someone who subtly dismisses others may not seem so bad. Anger can be excused because someone is a passionate leader. But it all flows from the same systemic problems of pride, arrogance, control, and insecurity. Beware of smoke-screen comparisons—misdirection tactics to avoid tackling the deeper issues—the character flaws that are infecting and slowly undermining organizations and their influence.
[2] Faux Accountability. With great success can come a slow drift away from those who will call us out and hold us accountable towards a select team whose support for their leader has clouded their vision. They’ve stopped asking the hard questions. These “yes men” have unknowingly turned encouragement and guidance into spinning the truth and stroking an insecure ego.
Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” The promise in this principle depends on having the right advisers. Do they possess wisdom and courage? Has their ability to advise been compromised because of a conflict of interest? Are they known for their honesty and integrity, or their tendency to avoid conflict?
Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Be sure that your advisers are not just a facade of mentors who are providing faux accountability.
[3] I’m Only Human. It’s true. We’re only human. We all make mistakes, but don’t use that as an excuse for bad behavior. None of us are perfect, but the way we handle our imperfections can either bring healing or compound the damage. It’s too easy to justify our behavior by saying nobody’s perfect. God responds to our sin with grace—not to approve it, but to forgive and transform us.
The Apostle Paul understood the disparity between his humanness and God’s righteousness. He understood the application of God’s grace to his sin. He asks and answers a very good question in his letter to First Century Christians in Rome: “Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” (Romans 6:1-2) In other words, don’t tap out by saying “I’m only human!”
Styx, an American rock band from Chicago, released several Top Ten songs from the seventies through the nineties. Among all those hits, the most thought-provoking one is “Show Me The Way”. The lyrics sound like a disillusioned essay that could have been written today in response to the growing roster of fallen leaders:
Every night I say a prayer in the hope that there's a heaven
And every day I'm more confused as the saints turn into sinners
All the heroes and legends I knew as a child have fallen to idols of clay
And I feel this empty place inside so afraid that I've lost my faith
Show me the way …(From the album, Edge Of The Century, by Styx; 1990 A&M Records)
What’s in YOUR closet? Will you try to contain it and spin it, hoping no one cracks open the door and sees what’s really inside? Or, will you finally get honest with yourself and deal with it responsibly—with humility and real accountability?