Did God Cause My Son's Death?
By Tierce Green
THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH. The writer of Psalm 23 describes walking through dark places in life without fear because the Lord—his Shepherd—is right there with him. When the unthinkable happens, it shakes your faith. You may question the love or even the existence of God. And if He does exist, then where was He when this horrible thing happened? We don't get over unthinkable things like this, but we can get through them—stronger, deeper, and better on the other side.
SAM NEWTON’S STORY
10 years ago today – it was the evening of January 21, 2010 – I lost my son Blake. However, I am not paralyzed with grief this day. Instead, I am amazed at the awesome power of my God. Today, I celebrate a God that has used Blake’s death for His glory and I’m honored He chose what happened to my son to do so.
I celebrate a God that has blessed me with an incredibly powerful experience that now blesses so many others today. I get to share Blake’s story in many different ways to so many different people — the groups I lead and teach in my consulting business, the homeless veterans I get to serve, the men who have recently lost their sons that I can help through their grief process, the times I’ve been able to take guys to Blake’s gravesite as we pass the cemetery on one of our long training bike rides to share the wisdom: “Hug your child every chance you get because you never know...” The many opportunities I get to share with others make me feel like I’m the most blessed person on the planet. I celebrate a God who has lifted up so many others via my experience including some strong men that He’s placed in my life to get me to this point. I am honored God has used Blake to change this world for the better.
I celebrate a God that has used Blake’s death to shape and influence me as a man, a father, a husband and a friend. I celebrate a God who has led me through this grief process to strengthen my faith in Him in ways I could never have imagined. It has opened many doors for me, provided countless opportunities to share my faith, and I pray I am glorifying God each time I encounter them.
Did God cause my son’s death? Of course not. But He allowed it. At the time, only God could see how it would benefit this fallen world we live in. God works in all things ...
If I could set the clock back 10 years and a day so I could prevent the loss of my son, would I do it? Of course I would! But, that’s the reflection of a finite man compared to the infinite and omniscient wisdom of our glorious God. Thankfully God’s in charge of this world and I am not...
I am totally convinced that this is a better world today than it was 10 years ago – for me, for sure – and for so many others who have been touched by this story.
A critical part of the grief process that helped Sam rise from the ashes of such a devastating loss was a community of men that gave him a safe place where he could say anything without being judged, and all the time and grace he needed to take one step at a time to get to a healthier place.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)
“Two are better than one ... If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
About a year after Blake's death, Sam was in the crowd at the finish line of an Ironman Triathlon in Texas. He was inspired to start training and start competing.
Sam has completed 8 Ironman races so far. He proudly displays a custom tattoo on his left calf with the Ironman logo and a Phoenix rising from the ashes.
CREATING SPACE FOR MEN TO CONNECT
"This is a place where there's no condemnation, but lot's of accountability." – Sam Newton
FIGHT FOR BRILLIANCE
Justin Keller interviews Sam Newton about his journey through tragedy, and how he is learning to embrace the pain and use this experience to serve others.